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i flirt with my barista every morning and i don't even like coffee

i go to weddings of people i barely know just for the open bar

i'm in love with my best friend's mom and i need to stop visiting

i've been faking my accent for 6 years to seem more interesting at parties

i've been pretending to know how to drive stick for 4 dates with the same guy

my boyfriend doesn't know i make more than him and i pretend to struggle

i think i only stay because the apartment is in his name

i tell people my parents are dead. they're just embarrassing.

i think about the cashier at trader joe's more than my actual boyfriend

i never wanted to be a doctor. my dad did. now i'm one.

i fake being sick to skip family events and they still believe me at 32

i tell people i'm a designer. i'm a barista with a pinterest board.

i googled how to forge my parents' signatures when i was 15 and i'm still proud of it

i blocked my mom and told her my phone broke. that was 3 months ago.

i've been faking it with my husband for 9 years

i secretly hope i fail this interview so i don't have to move

i sleep with my childhood stuffed animal and my partner doesn't know

i ate my roommate's leftovers and blamed her boyfriend

i text my ex every time i'm drunk and he never responds

i started a finsta about my coworker and it has 4k followers now

i tell people i'm allergic to nuts so they leave me alone at parties

i'm the favorite child and i know it and i love it

i lied to my doctor about how much i drink. by a lot.

i ghosted a job after 2 weeks because i couldn't figure out the printer

i still wait for someone who told me to move on a long time ago

i think i only stay because the apartment is in his name

i pretended to not know english on a flight so the guy next to me would stop talking

i'm 31 and i still don't know my blood type and i'm too embarrassed to ask

i'm in this city only because the rent on my heart somewhere else got too high

i've been faking it with my husband for 9 years

i don't believe in god anymore but i still pray every night just in case

i tell my therapist what i think she wants to hear

i moved cities to escape a friend group and they don't even know

i pretend to like my best friend's boyfriend but he's literally the worst

i don't actually like my hometown but i tell everyone i miss it

i think i'm a bad friend and i can't figure out how to stop

i think my baby might not be my husband's and i'm scared to do the test

i bought a one way ticket and i haven't told anyone i'm leaving

i told my husband i'm working late but i'm sitting in the parking lot eating fries

i bought a one way ticket and i haven't told anyone i'm leaving

i told my grandma i was straight on her deathbed and i hate myself for it

i tell people i'm a designer. i'm a barista with a pinterest board.

i'm an atheist who works at a christian summer camp every year

i moved cities to escape a friend group and they don't even know

i was the kid who started that rumor in 8th grade and ruined her life

i think i only stay because the apartment is in his name

i've been pretending to know how to drive stick for 4 dates with the same guy

i moved cities to escape a friend group and they don't even know

i'm in love with my best friend's mom and i need to stop visiting

i go to the dog park even though i don't have a dog

i'm in love with a coworker and i requested to wfh permanently to make it stop

i think about the cashier at trader joe's more than my actual boyfriend

i was the kid who started that rumor in 8th grade and ruined her life

i deleted all my photos from before age 22 and i regret it every day

i pretend to be busy on weekends because i have no friends here yet

i secretly read my sister's diary every weekend when i visit

i told my mom i was sick so i could spend a saturday alone for once

i never wanted to be a doctor. my dad did. now i'm one.

i bought him a ring 2 years ago and it's still in my sock drawer

i told everyone i won a scholarship. my parents are paying for everything.